I've gained weight and I don't want to lose it

Lets be honest here. We're not losing anything but time.
We're sneaking in chocolates when no one's looking, attending birthday parties and half heartedly protesting against eating the cake that we
shove into our mouth first chance we get, because well, it's a birthday. We're eyeing our friend's sugar laden iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream
and chocolate sauce, pretending not to look at our own sugar free black coffee/green tea/decaf herbal tea as if that would make it disappear.
We're all doing it.

This was week 1. We were supposed to go sugar free and eat in abundance and ignite our rapturous metabolisms with green tea and change our lives and our worlds.
But there was some fasting, and eid celebrations involved. There were some ganpati festivities to attend. There were a hell of a lot of birthdays; hello September.
And so, for many of us, week 1 was a disaster. Good thing it wasn't too hard. Which makes me wonder what fate awaits us all in future.
All I did the whole week, was watch criminal minds on my laptop, roll in bed, hunt for chocolates and eat them alone. I skipped meals, I didn't eve look at  green
tea. I basically led the life of a wild animal. Hunting, gathering, hibernating. Now someone shoot me.

I've gained almost as much weight as I had initially lost. This time last year, I started with replacing my three hour strict workouts with rest periods. I had recently started taking
anti anxiety medications which were giving me headaches. And I had to let them go away. Days turned into months. Slowly, the diet started getting out of hand.
Shifting from India to Saudi Arabia, gave me access to unlimited food, of every kind, at all times. Indulgences turned into necessity. I did start working out
again, but never as strictly. I got back to a healthy balanced diet, but everything went down the drain with ramadan, and the abundance of food that it brings,
along with forceful relatives who pretend to be offended if you dont eat enough to burst at your seems. Of course. Then I joined work. Erratic timings, too much
work, no time for healthy eating or working out. Followed by a month long vacation in India, where I ate everything from bachpan ki yaadein to nani ka pyaar to
outside food. I wanted to enjoy my vacation and not think about weight, I knew I could lose it when I got back.
But I'm back. And I don't want to lose the weight, but I want my fit body back.
I've convinced myself I don't need new clothes because I didn't fit in my thin sizes when I went shopping.
I haven't picked up the contour brush yet, but I've brainwashed myself into thinking I look better when I'm chubby.
I have even gone to the extent of making fun of people right back when they call me fat, instead of feeling ashamed or feeling determined to change it.
The word 'MOTI' has returned into my life, and I do not give a flying fish.
I am bigger than most of my friends, and some new ones don't recognize me from the thin pictures, but I remain unfazed, wading my way, open mouthed,
through a sea of junk food and immobility.
My goals were to have abs by the end of this year.
And now I've gained too much weight for that to happen.
Is this my fault? Despite the long list of excuses, yes. Absolutely.
Could it have been prevented? Yes. Gaining weight shows dereliction from proper diet and activity.
Is it okay to be fat? Yes. But it's not okay to take your health for granted, to neglect yourself, to put yourself in poor health, be weak, to look bad,
to not take care of yourself, pretend like you don't care about your appearance, to act like you love food more than you love running on the treadmill, to
try to justify to yourself that life can still be fun, that I'm still happy, I've got people who love me despite my weight, and to put myself last.
It's not okay.
This was never about other people in the first place.
It started with appearance, with wanting to look better, thinner, hotter. To have the kind of body people wish for. Then it started feeling good.
Looks took a back seat. Then it was all about the feeling. It makes you feel accomplished. It's a victory. It's a hard thing you're doing. But you're
doing it for you. You have endorphins flowing in your veins with all the exercise. You feel amazing, although you're drenched in sweat. You know you're
better than the others complaining about their huge butt while just sitting on it. You know you're better than you were yesterday. And that's what it's about.
The crunches start feeling good, you look forward to lifting weights, running makes you feel like you're high, you start FEELING healthy. You start
feeling happy. Then you want to be stronger. You have milestones. You want to run as much as people in marathons do. You want to do a video without stopping to breathe
like the people in it don't, you want to be fitter. You love being healthy. You want it all.
From wanting your stomach to look flat, you want it to be tighter, and the muscle tone to show. That is what you want.
And that, is why I need to get my butt on the treadmill and trim it.
And so do you.
We've all lacked. It's not the first time. It's your last.
It's now or never.
You're in this with me, and I'm here.
Let's do it together.
Follow the same week 1 pattern for 3 more days, starting today.
This time,follow it. To the letter.
Then lets jump to week 2.

No matter how much I write, you're the one who needs to do it. This isn't school, we aren't babies. It's your life. Your body. Your health.
If you're still not feeling it, get naked, stand in front of the mirror.
How are you feeling about it now?

WEEK 1

This first week, our plan will be very basic. I'm assuming everyone is starting from naught, not doing any physical activity, or taking care of your food intake, because I definitely am not!
I laze around at home, roll in bed all day like a pig. I need to know others are like me!
So I've been out of the habit, and mostly everyone must be at beginner level.
Let's take this week to just fuel up and prepare for the oncoming weeks where everything from our diet to our workouts will kick ass!
I just want you all to make very few changes in your current daily routine.
There are just four things you need to be doing this week:

1. Avoid All Sugar
2. Eat 5 meals a day
3. Drink Green Tea
4. Exercise.

Details
1. SUGAR- Diabetes, Mood swings, addiction, heart disease, obesity, slow metabolism, ALL caused by consuming sugar.
Replace with honey, agave nectar, stevia (I do honey).
This is the best thing you can do for yourself in the long run.

2. EAT 5 MEALS A DAY- Eat whatever you want, whatever you can. Don't count calories or anything. Just eat. Eat breakfast, beg your mom to give you lunch, go out and get some, or order whatever, but just eat.

3. GREEN TEA- Have 2-3 cups daily. Hot or cold, however you like.
I love mine with honey and lemon. You can add ginger too. You can basically add whatever you like.


4. EXERCISE- This is making your body get used to what you'll be up to next week. Building stamina, improving mood, metabolism and teaching you discipline (we all need that).
Get your clothes off the treadmill and dry them somewhere else, bring the cross trainer out of the store room, get your cycle out of the garage, clean it out, stock your playlist and get to work.
I want you to work out for 30 minutes every day. Early morning, evening, whatever, whenever.
Just get on it, and work.
Go swimming, do in place jogging, take your dogs for a (fast) walk, climb up and down the stairs,  if not, then just step up and down one step like aerobics, get your old aerobics class moves into action, do some squats, do some jumping jacks, and if nothing else, switch on Bollywood mode, and dance like crazy. Make sure you do this when your doors are closed so as to keep others alive.
You can belly dance, you can watch a video and follow it, you can do whatever you like.
I dont care what you do, if you look like a fool, just move. If you stand in one place snapping your fingers calling it movement, imagine me punching your face.
You need to push yourself. Make your heart race!
Just 30 mins. It's 2% of your day.


Apart from these things, remember whenever you're starting this, weigh yourself early morning, after you go to the bathroom, before you eat anything.
Weight is not a good indicator of progress, so measure your body. A chart will be provided in another post. To me, this is the most important measure.
Also, check your bmi. This is important as you can learn how fit you are depending on your height!
Keep your water intake in check, drink 3-4 litres a day to not burn out,
And drink a glass of water or warm lemon honey within 15 mins of waking up.

Baby steps, big improvements!
Now that you're aware of the basics, lets begin!
May your fat be replaced by luck! :D

I DIDN'T WANT TO BE FAT ANYMORE!

I was fat. Not obesely rolling around like a barrel, but yes, fat, like a plump pigeon.
I wasn't a fan, but I didn't know how to get rid of it, although I would do some run of the mill exercises in my room before I slept, but who knew where in place jogging and 20 skips would get me? Straight to my bed, out of breath.

I was in expanded shape, fluffy and flabby. I had a heavy lower body. Being fat wasn't just about being overweight.
It meant starving myself the whole day to have one huge meal at night, it meant wearing alot of black, layering clothes, making me feel like a 40 year old, wearing kurtas that hid the wide hips,boyish baggy clothes that would make me look like an autowala, and later be recognized as a tomboy.

It meant never having a hairstyle that didn't make me look funny with a body like a bowling pin. 

It meant being the "XL" one in an "XS" majority, in India. It meant coming back hungry from parties so as not to be seen as the fat girl eating.
It meant not sitting on someones bike for the fear of it tilting backward,knowing you're the reason why an auto wouldn't be able to ride an upward slope, not being comfortable in airplane seats, and not being able to walk a few paces, or climb a flight of stairs without panting like a rabid dog.
I would contour the shit out of my face to make it look skinny back in 2010. Before it became a trend, it was a daily necessity for me.
I would overcompensate for being fat, by doing good makeup, so that people would only see my face.
I was tired of being called "cute", the kind of cute reserved for teddy bears, bunnies and chubby kids. Not the kind of cute used for a girl,pretty, dimples, hair flying about, sweet sugary smiles and stomach butterfly inducing good looks. I wanted to be that, not a bunny!

I knew I looked good, there was still some kind of weird confidence that proclaimed,"So what if you have a fat body, your face is fine. You'll be fine".
And that fat became a layer of protection against the cruel world, where I would feel safe, I would feel like I only had that fat to get rid of, and I would be perfect. It was secret confidence. It was strange that I was never insecure, probably because I knew I had nothing to lose (except weight!) But it did hold me back from alot of things, like swimming class (which I loved, but I never hung outside the pool, just got into the water as soon as I changed into my suit), I skipped PE sessions, and avoided taking part in any games that involved running, that would make a spectacle of my gloriously inelegant body fat. I also avoided going to the gym, fearing I'd have  to bounce and jump around with all my excess weight in front of a bunch of random people.

Let's not forget how much an overweight person sweats.

Bejesus!

I avoided any kind of physical activity as a result of the consciousness.

I didn't like being called "the fat one.. not fat, plump", in pictures, Tired of being told on more than one occasion that I'd look perfect if i lost weight.
Although I was the good looking one in that group I hung out with, but only the fat made me take a step back, from entering a place after my friends, to standing behind in the pictures, comparing the expanse of my chunky thighs when I sat with other people, and quickly placing my bag in my lap to hide it. It meant thinking I was anchored to my fat; in more ways than one!

I wouldn't get approached by guys, that was an advantage to me personally, but just the sheer size difference between a supersized me and the skinny dudes of India, was disappointing yet funny.The thought Marriage or anything physical was deeply disturbing as I would have to expose what I would work hard everyday to cover up.I wore my abaya everywhere, and being long and black, it hid everything I pretended didn't exist. 

It's very sad how an amazing life, all the dreams,everything I was and was yet to be, was being anchored down by something as stupid and temporary as fat. In the middle of 2012,the year the world was meant to end on Dec 21, I had decided my goal for the new year- to be hot.
I'd had enough of being huge, making fun of myself, that little distance between me and perfection always stabbing me, grey- sallow skin, unhealthy lifestyle, being overly conscious, but more than everything else just the sheer will to be hot overtook everything else.

It wasn't for the way people were talking about me, it wasn't because the boy I liked said I was the best looking girl in the city but needed to lose weight, it wasn't because of the rishtas my parents were searching, and it definitely wasn't to make anyone jealous, or to compete with anyone.
It was only for me.
So I spent about six months researching everything, and as per my goal,put my plan into action in January 2012, when it all started, and changed my life. 

In two weeks I lost 15 inches overall, and I got called something I was never called before- Hot!.